An Intruder at Night

It's three o'clock in the morning, when I am roused from my bed. There is a loud bang that came from the deck. At first I think nothing of it, but a few minutes later there is some more shuffling and a bit more sound. Nicky and I are both sitting up in bed. "There is definitely someone there," I say. I climb out of bed, my heart racing, is someone really trying to break into our house while we are here? I look behind the bedroom door for any sort of weapon to take with me (the right to bear arms has not been an excuse for us to buy a gun), thankfully I find a crow bar there. It feels like it could do some damage. I slowly walk through the living room to the kitchen and towards the back door where the sound had come from. I can't see a thing outside since it is pitch dark...I clutch the crow bar and flick on the outside light and swing open the door simultaneously prepared to attack. There, standing about 2 feet away from me is the bandit...a raccoon...digging in my garbage. I yell and shake the crow bar at it and it runs off into the neighbours yard. So embarrassing and city-person of me!